Auto Mechanics 101
by Brandywine421
Summary: Sandy needs a lesson in Auto Maintenance. Get your heads out of the gutter, I'm serious!
1. One

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related.  
AN: Sorry about the fluff. Thought we needed some Ryan/Sandy bonding, and not in a squick way. And I know nothing about cars except what I learned from Google and various male friends over the years who revel in my stupidity._

* * *

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Sandy broke the silence in the car as he pulled onto the freeway.

"The best meeting I've ever had with my P.O," Ryan smiled, glancing at him from the passenger side. He pulled off his button down shirt he was wearing for professionalism and tossed it in the back, more comfortable in his white t-shirt.

"Hopefully, it'll be your last meeting with any P.O," Sandy said, reaching across and patting Ryan on the shoulder.

"Three months with no trouble, I'm pretty proud," Ryan replied.

"And you're officially off probation. Your slate is officially clean now, kid. How do you feel?"

"Good. I feel good."

"I guess that's about the extent of your feelings on the whole subject, then?" Sandy teased. He was used to the quietness of the teenager and it was refreshing considering his own son was a hyperactive babbler.

"Thanks," Ryan said, meeting Sandy's gaze for a short moment. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Sure, you could. But you probably wouldn't," Sandy laughed.

The BMW made a grinding noise suddenly as it started to jerk. Sandy pulled it to the side of the freeway and as soon as it sputtered to a stop, smoke began to pour from under the hood.

"That can't be good," Sandy muttered.

"You want me to take a look?" Ryan asked, already stepping out of the car.

"I have AAA, but…"

"Pop the hood," Ryan instructed, already at Sandy's window.

"From inside the car?" Sandy asked, confused.

Ryan gave him an amused smile. "Sandy. There's a little lever, down near the floor…"

The door to the gas tank popped open.

"The other one."

"Oh…"

"Thanks," Ryan grinned, walking around to the front of the car.

"It's smoking, are you sure you should be…" Sandy asked, getting out and closing the door behind him.

"You don't know anything about cars?"

"I'm from the Bronx, we took the subway. I can drive cars and look at cars but I don't know anything about how they work," Sandy admitted.

Ryan managed to find the catch and raised the hood. Sandy stepped back instinctively as the smoke rolled out.

"When's the last time you put water in your radiator?" Ryan asked. Sandy uncovered his eyes and saw Ryan leaning over the engine.

"You have to water it?"

"Yes, Sandy. I can't check it when it's this hot…" Ryan said, stepping back. "But I think you probably need to call AAA."

"It's bad?"

"When's the last time you took it for a tune up?"

"It's a BMW. For the price we paid, it should stay tuned," Sandy replied.

Ryan let out a rare laugh. "Where's your phone?"

Sandy returned to the door and pulled the handle. "Oops."

"What?" Ryan asked.

"Is your window down?" Sandy asked.

"You didn't…" Ryan joined him by the window and saw the keys in the ignition. "Sandy."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think the doors would just lock like that…"

"I bet your phone's in there, too, right?" Ryan asked.

Sandy nodded.

"Great."

They each turned their head to see how far they were from the closest exit. When they didn't see anything in that direction, they glanced in the other direction.

"Surely, someone will stop for us…" Sandy said quietly.

"Really? You think?" Ryan gave him a small smile to show that he wasn't angry. The car had finally stopped smoking and he walked past Sandy to peer into the engine again.

"Of course…" Sandy said.

"Two men stranded on the side of the road. Maybe if you pull up your pants leg a little, you know, show a little leg…" Ryan muttered.

"Well…"

"Do you have a spare key? Like under the bumper or something?" Ryan asked, one of his eyebrows raised.

"You're making fun of me."

"No, I'm not. I'm hot. I want to go home," Ryan said, but Sandy saw the smirk on his face.

"I don't have a spare. Kirsten has the spare key on her keychain. And I think Seth has one…"

"Okay, so, we'll improvise. We need to get into the car…"

"You're going to break into my car?" Sandy asked.

"Do you have a better idea?" Ryan replied evenly.

"Well…we could wait for someone to stop."

"It's, like, 95 degrees out here, Sandy, and you're in a suit. I can promise you that no one's going to stop," Ryan said.

"Whatever happened to good Samaritans?"

"Yeah, I think they all died out," Ryan said, studying the engine closer. Sandy tentatively went to his side and peered over his shoulder. Ryan glanced at him. "It's not going to bite you."

"I don't believe you," He replied seriously.

"Okay. Let's get the car unlocked before I have to get dirty," Ryan sighed. He walked around the car examining the window. "This one's cracked."

"It's broken? Kirsten's going to kill me…" Sandy hurried to his side.

"Why don't you relax? This isn't a crisis…" Ryan was trying to get his fingers inside the small opening of the window.

"My car bursts into flames and my only form of communication is locked inside…"

"Your car is not on fire. It overheated. All we need is to get into the car so I can get that bottle of water…" Ryan pointed through the window. "And top off the radiator enough to get us home."

"So my car is thirsty which made it catch on fire," Sandy stated.

"Are you channeling Seth?" Ryan smirked. "Listen, make yourself useful. See if you can find me something long and narrow to slide in this hole…"

Sandy stared at him before turning a lovely shade of crimson. "I am channeling Seth…" He turned and started searching the shoulder of the freeway for Ryan's tool.

He had taken several steps away from the car when he heard Ryan curse.

"Fuck!"

"Ryan?"

Ryan was shaking his hand, agitated. "Fucking luxury car…sorry," He apologized.

"What happened?"

"Pinched my fingers. Did you find anything?"

"Still looking…" Sandy spotted a car antenna in the ditch. He carefully stepped down to get it and promptly fell on his ass. He glanced back to see if Ryan had seen him fall and was relieved to see Ryan focusing on the window. Until the car horn blew and Ryan turned and started to laugh.

"We are not talking about this later," Sandy mumbled, reaching the antenna and pulling himself to his feet.

"Perfect!" Ryan smiled, accepting the bent antenna and sliding it into the window. Within seconds, he'd manipulated the lock and he pulled the handle to open it.

"Good job."

"Really?"

"Uh…no. I mean, thanks for getting the doors unlocked and promise that you'll never do it again," Sandy recanted.

"That's what I thought," Ryan laughed. "Why don't you call AAA and I'll see if I can get the car running."

"A plan. Nice." Sandy retrieved his phone and made sure that he had the keys before joining Ryan by the front of the car.

Ryan's face was twisted in disgust as he looked over the filthy engine. "Sandy, you really should take better care of your car."

"It is very…dirty…"

Ryan responded by pulling off his shirt. Sandy stared at him.

"It's hot. I have to unscrew this cap, hopefully, it's cool enough and won't spray hot water on me…" Ryan said as he used the shirt to unscrew the radiator cap.

"What?" Sandy asked.

Ryan gave him a patient smile. "It's okay. See?" Ryan held up the cap. He peered into the engine. "Now. Can you pop your trunk so I can see if you have any antifreeze?"

"Antifreeze? This is California, why would I…" Sandy started.

"I'm going to pretend that I still have respect for you as a man. Go to the trunk and see if there's anything in bottles. It's not a big deal if there's not, but it'll help," Ryan laughed.

Sandy stuck his tongue out at Ryan, playfully, but he was really relieved that his foster son knew what to do.

Finding nothing but a spare set of swim trunks and a tire, he turned to close the trunk when the convertible screeched to a halt in front of the BMW.

"Need a ride, stud?" A female voice called.

"Uh, no thanks. We got it," Ryan responded.

"You sure?" A blonde called.

Sandy slammed the trunk closed and the carload of girls pulled away.

"I thought you said no one would stop," Sandy teased.

"Well, it's not like they would've been much help," Ryan replied.

"Why?"

"They were wearing Gucci. You think anyone wearing Gucci would touch this engine?" Ryan muttered.

"I'm not. And I'm only wearing Ralph Lauren," Sandy conceded.

Ryan glared at him as he poured the bottle of water into the radiator. He leaned down and checked below the car. "No leaking. That's good. Did you call AAA?"

"I thought you were fixing it? Who needs AAA when you're around?"

"Thanks. Start the car," Ryan laughed.

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Sandy walked into the kitchen first and Kirsten was immediately alert. "You guys…Sandy, what happened?" Kirsten kissed his cheek and immediately turned his body to examine his backside.

"What?"

"Dad, you have grass all over your ass…" Seth chimed in from his seat at the counter.

"Seth, don't say 'ass', and are you sure?" Sandy asked, spinning to try and get a better view of his ass.

Ryan entered with his shirt only half buttoned.

"I can see Ryan's nipple," Seth stated, slightly stunned.

"Seth, don't say 'nipple'," Kirsten scolded.

"I can't say 'ass', I can't say 'nipple', what, is the FCC here?" Seth glanced around suspiciously.

"That'd just mean you couldn't show it," Ryan said, sitting down beside Seth.

"True. But what's up? You leave to meet your P.O. and you come back shirtless…"

"I'm wearing a shirt…"

"Ah, yes, but you are flashing the anatomy a little, like, where's your layers?"

"The car's dead. Ryan tried to fix it," Sandy explained.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "The car is not dead. Sandy just doesn't know how to take care of it."

"Did the oil light come on again?" Seth asked.

"There was no water in the radiator. It needs a serious tune up."

"Sandy can barely change a tire," Kirsten laughed.

"At least I can make macaroni," Sandy muttered.

"Macaroni won't leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere in your evening gown," Kirsten replied.

"Score one for mom," Seth laughed.

"So I don't know cars, it's nothing to be ashamed of…" Sandy defended.

"You just went down, like, three notches on the masculinity meter, Dad…"

"What? I have AAA, why would I ever need to know about cars?"

"Don't worry, Sandy, you're married, you don't have to be masculine anymore…" Kirsten teased, squeezing his waist.

"So, I guess the next question is, when is Ryan going to teach his brother here about cars?" Seth asked.

"What? No…" Ryan protested.

"Come on, I don't want to be a wuss like Dad…" Seth responded.

"That's a good idea, Sandy. Maybe Ryan could teach you some basics, too," Kirsten smiled.

"He doesn't even know what antifreeze is for," Ryan muttered.

"Antifreeze?" Seth questioned.

"It's coolant, for the engine," Kirsten told them with a smile.

"Come on, man, you can totally teach us…" Seth urged.

"I don't think I have the patience…" Ryan said.

"Hey, Dad taught you to play golf, I taught you to skateboard…"

Kirsten burst into giggles despite Ryan's glare in her direction.

"Not really good examples, Seth," Sandy smiled.

"What? Why?" Seth feigned confusion.

"Because, Ryan broke three windows in Julie Cooper's house and he busted the skateboard in three pieces against those steps you were trying to make him skate down," Kirsten reminded.

"Okay, bad examples, but man, you so owe us. Please. Help us defeat the Cohen curse of being 'girly men'. Please."

Ryan sighed and wouldn't look at Seth.

"Please. Come on…" Seth whined.

"You guys don't even have any tools…" Ryan muttered.

"I'll make a call," Kirsten smiled.


	2. Two

_AN: Thanks for the great response. Here's Part 2. I'm trying to keep the angst fairies from infecting this story since everyone seems to enjoy the fluff. Probably one more part to tie it all up. _

* * *

"You guys have fun. And Ryan? Try not to break anything if they get too frustrating," Kirsten said as she walked out of the kitchen the next day.

"This is going to end in tragedy," Ryan sighed, ignoring Seth's eager expression and Sandy's confusion as he stared at the toolbox on the counter.

"I am totally a fast learner, Ryan," Seth grinned.

"Okay. Let's go take a look at the car. We'll need to go to the store and pick up some oil and an oil filter."

"A filter, like what you put in an aquarium?" Seth asked.

"Come on," Ryan smiled, grabbing the toolbox and leading them outside.

"I'm still the man around here, even though I can't do this…stuff. You guys know that, right?" Sandy asked.

"Yes, Dad. Even though, I've never seen you punch anyone, get your hands dirty or take a shot of tequila without wincing."

"When have you seen anyone take a shot of tequila without wincing?" Sandy questioned.

"This is not about being a man, this is about self-preservation. What happens if your car breaks down and your cell phone doesn't get service?" Ryan asked.

"No service? Dude…" Seth laughed.

"I'm serious, Seth. Think of this as survivalist training," Ryan said. "Okay, Sandy. Remember how to pop the hood?"

"Dad, you didn't know how to pop the hood? See, I'm already a lesson ahead," Seth teased.

"I'm still waiting for an answer about the tequila," Sandy muttered, leaning inside his car and pulling the lever to pop the hood.

"Now," Ryan said, ignoring Sandy's statement. He slid his hand under the opening between the grill and the hood. "You have to find the lever and push it and open the hood."

"God, that's just nasty," Seth murmured, seeing the dirty engine.

"Yeah. The basics," Ryan started as Sandy and Seth stood beside him. "This is where the oil goes. This is where the water goes. This is where the transmission fluid goes…"

"So…I have to check all those things? Plus the gas?" Sandy asked seriously.

"Yes. This is the oil dipstick…" Ryan said, demonstrating.

"Dad, Ryan said 'dipstick'," Seth laughed.

"Okay. So you pull out the 'dipstick' and wipe off the end. Then you stick it back in the hole and see how much of the end gets wet…"

Seth was laughing uncontrollably now.

"Seth. This was your idea," Ryan smiled.

"Okay, sorry…but all the talk of sticks and getting wet…I'm sorry…" Seth managed after a stern glare from his father.

"Moving on. See? The oil is low, it should be at this line but its way below," Ryan pointed. He replaced the dipstick.

"Okay. So do we add more?"

"Usually. But we're going to change your oil today. Every time you change the oil, you change the filter. It looks like you need a new air filter, too, see how it's all dirty?"

"Everything is all dirty, maybe we need a new engine," Seth commented.

"No. Let's go to the parts store and pick up what we need. Today's lesson is changing the oil."

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After the visit to the auto parts store and a quick explanation from Ryan, Sandy is on his back under the BMW. The car was raised on ramps that Kirsten had ordered.

"Sandy, don't forget to put this container under there to catch the oil…" Ryan said, standing by the engine. Seth was sitting on the ground near his father's feet. He slid the modified bucket near his father's feet.

"What?" Sandy called.

"You have to catch the oil…" Ryan started but he was interrupted by Sandy's sputtering and coughing.

"Damn…" Sandy managed, scurrying from under the car, covered in oil.

"It's…" Seth stammered as the oil gushed out. Ryan fell to his knees and rushed to get the bucket to catch as much oil as it could before it stained the driveway.

Sandy was wiping oil off his face and arms. "Is this supposed to happen?"

"That's what I made the bucket for," Ryan said, sliding out with oil all over him as well.

"I'm glad Dad took that lesson, you both look disgusting," Seth said. Ryan reached over and smeared oil down his arm.

"Now, moving on. Sandy…"

"Oh no, this lesson is over. I'm going to get a bath…"

"You haven't even started!" Ryan protested.

"I'm out, too," Seth said. "I don't want to be a man…"

"Come on, guys…" Ryan said.

"Sorry, Ryan. This just isn't a Cohen thing," Seth said, following his father into the house.

Ryan sighed. He wiped his hands and lay down to finish what he'd started.

An hour later, he heard a car pull in.

"Ryan?" Kirsten called.

"Hey." He slid from under the car, his jeans and shirt stained with oil and grease.

"Where are Sandy and Seth?"

"Inside, I guess. They couldn't handle it," Ryan said, wiping his face with a grimy arm.

"They made you do it alone? Oh, Ryan…"

"Well, they started, but they couldn't finish. It's no big deal…"

"No, they asked you to teach them, this is unacceptable…"

"No, its fine, Kirsten…"

"You want to teach them a lesson?" Kirsten smirked.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"A lesson, Ryan. Like, a real one. One they can't walk away from when they get bored."

"I'd just like to drop the whole thing, Kirsten. I'm almost done here…"

"Well, I'm not. Thank you for fixing the car, Ryan. I'm sorry they abandoned you out here…"

"It's fine. I probably would have ended up doing it all myself anyway," Ryan muttered. He got to his feet and wiped his hands on his jeans.

Kirsten walked around to the front with him and they looked over the engine.

"I changed the oil and oil filter, added some transmission fluid and put some coolant in the radiator. It should be good to go."

Kirsten reached into the engine and disconnected the battery.

"Kirsten…"

"If he wants to go anywhere, he'll have to figure it out on his own. And Seth can't borrow my car, either."

"They have a rental," Ryan pointed.

"You're taking the rental. You're coming to lunch with me. Go get changed."

Ryan shared a smile with her, walking around the house toward the poolhouse.

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"Dad, you think Ryan's pissed? He's been out there a while," Seth said, his ninja succumbing to his father's attack.

"God, I didn't think we'd been in here that long, let's go check on him…" Sandy glanced at his watch and stood up.

They were both clean after scrubbing off the oil but they had decided to stay inside so Ryan wouldn't force them to work again.

"Um, Dad? Your rental's gone," Seth noted.

"But the BMW looks ready to go. You want to go get some lunch?"

"You think Ryan's napping?" Seth asked, forgetting that the rental car was gone for a moment.

"Let him get some rest, we'll bring him back his favorite to make up for quitting on the auto lessons," Sandy suggested. They got into the car and Sandy tried to start the engine.

"Uh oh."

"Maybe Ryan went to get more parts," Seth said when the car didn't start on Sandy's third try.

"We have got to get that kid a cell phone," Sandy muttered.

"So. No lunch?"

"I'll call AAA," Sandy said, putting his phone to his ear. He gave the agent his information and after a short pause, hung up.

"Are they coming?"

"My service has been discontinued. As of an hour ago. I'm going to kill Kirsten," Sandy muttered.

"Let's look under the hood. We got through lesson one, maybe we can fix it."

"I can pop the hood. Let's make your mother proud," Sandy said.

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Kirsten and Ryan were enjoying their burgers at the small deli near the pier.

"So, who taught you about cars?" Ryan asked.

"My mother."

"Really? Your mom?"

"Yes. The history is, my dad's car broke down and he knows less about cars than Sandy. My mom stopped on the shoulder to help him."

"She stopped? That's dangerous…"

"This was before they were married. It's how they met. Back then, hitchhiking was pretty common so when she saw him, she stopped. It was something like a loose cable or something but she impressed him and he asked her out."

"Wow. Nice story. So, your mother taught you?"

"When I turned 15, she started teaching me. I learned to drive on a stick shift, she said if I could drive that, I could drive anything," Kirsten smiled.

"Very true," Ryan acknowledged.

"She said that when I started to date, if I went out with a man with a straight-drive, that he'd make me sit in the middle and straddle the gear shift so he could cop a feel every time he shifted…"

Ryan gave her a lazy smile. "My brother told me that trick."

Kirsten laughed. "Well, since I knew how to change gears, she said that instead of him putting his hand there, that I was in charge of changing the gears."

"I bet that didn't go over too well…"

"Well, I never had to use it. No one in Newport drives anything that's not an automatic," She smiled. Her phone rang.

"Hello? Hey, Sandy…oh, really? AAA said what?" She smiled.

Ryan laughed quietly.

"Ryan's having lunch with me, I told him he could take the rental…I'm sorry, Sandy. You'll either have to wait until we get home or you can…" She closed the phone after a pause.

"What?"

"He hung up," She smiled.

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Kirsten followed Ryan home after their long lunch. They were both surprised to see Sandy and Seth standing in the driveway in front of the opened hood of the BMW.

"What's going on, guys?" Ryan asked.

"You're evil. Pure, unadulterated evil," Seth said.

"I think we broke it," Sandy told Kirsten as she walked around to stand with him.

"Oh, Sandy, what did you do?" She gasped.

Seth held out a handful of wires and dropped them at Ryan's feet. "See?"

"Where'd you get these from?" Ryan asked, stunned.

"There," Seth nodded toward the engine. "And it still doesn't work."

"You guys…" Ryan stammered.

"If you two hadn't decided to get all cute, maybe this wouldn't have happened," Sandy scolded.

"You can't possibly be blaming us for this, Sandy. You and Seth asked Ryan to teach you about cars and then you just walked off and left him with all the work…"

"But we got dirty, Mom," Seth protested.

"Kirsten…" Ryan started.

"No. I unhooked the battery cable. That's it. All you had to do was put this back here," Kirsten demonstrated.

"Oh. Well, Ryan didn't teach us that…" Sandy protested.

"Oh. He said if the car's not getting power to always check the battery cable…but I thought that's what these were…" Seth pointed at the wires at Ryan's feet.

"Here." Ryan held out the keys to the rental car. "I'll fix it…"

"Ryan…" Kirsten protested.

"No. I'm not a teacher, you're not my students and I'm sorry that this ever got started. I'll fix it," He said evenly.

"You're mad," Seth said.

"I'm not mad," Ryan sighed.

"I'm mad," Kirsten snapped.

"Why, this is all your fault," Sandy said quietly.

"Guys. Stop arguing. Nobody should be mad, nobody should be upset, just drop it," Ryan sighed. He leaned down and picked up the wires and turned to get the toolbox.

Kirsten stormed into the house and Sandy followed her.

"I'll help you…"

"Believe me, I don't need your help with this. You've helped enough today."

"Can I watch?"

"No. Go inside, Seth. I need to concentrate."

Seth turned and left. Ryan sighed. He started to try and find where the wires belonged.

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"Honey, do you need any help?" Kirsten came out as the sun was going down.

"I have no idea where Seth got those wires," Ryan confessed. He was sitting in the driveway with assorted parts lying around him in a circle.

"Did you check…"

"I checked everything." His arms were stained with grease up past his elbows and his face was smeared with the engine grease. "I think they're messing with me."

"What?" Kirsten asked.

"I don't think these wires came out of the car. I think Seth and Sandy think they're being funny," Ryan said quietly.

Kirsten narrowed her eyes. "Ryan…"

"So, I'm going to try and put this car back together and I'm officially done with auto mechanics."

"You know what this means, don't you?"

"Please don't say it…"

"This means war."

"Please, Kirsten…can't we drop it?"

"You're not mad that you spent the past two hours under this car?"

"No. I don't care. I just want this to be over. I have homework to do and I'm tired. Please don't start with this…"

"Okay. I'll leave you out of it. But it's definitely not over…" Kirsten spun and walked back into the house.

Ryan started to reassemble the car.

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	3. Fin

_AN: Okay. Finished. Not as fluffy or funny as the first two chapters, but at least it's finished. Sorry for fizzling out, but the Funny is not as easy as it looks. Back to angst for me. Hope you enjoy._

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"What's for dinner, Mom?" Seth entered the kitchen with his headphones draped around his neck.

"I have a business dinner. You guys will have to fend for yourself…" Kirsten replied, not turning around from the sink.

"Are you still mad?"

"Why don't you go ask Ryan? He's still in the driveway working on your father's car," Kirsten snapped.

Seth barely contained his chuckle before his mother turned and glared at him.

"Yeah, you think it's funny. But I had already made a call to a dealership so I could buy you and Ryan a car. Since I thought you were ready to take the responsibility for one…"

Seth's mouth was gaping.

"But that was before you left Ryan in the driveway to do all the work. Now, I'm convinced of you immaturity again and you won't be getting a car unless it's for graduation. I hope you're proud of yourself…"

"Mom, wait, you didn't say anything…"

"I know. I was going to surprise you." She gave him a false smile. "Surprise." She turned and left him standing in the kitchen.

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Sandy felt guilty. Kirsten hadn't spoken to him since she'd stormed into the house earlier. It was just supposed to be a joke. She'd walked past his office a few minutes earlier in one of her 'business dresses' as he called them and he remembered that she had an important meeting with one of her business partners tonight. When he'd asked her if he needed to get dressed, she hadn't answered.

He was really on her list today.

He'd thought that Ryan would recognize the wires as not belonging to the car right away. Ryan took things too seriously, at least, that's what Seth had told him when they'd come up with the plan.

Sandy got up and followed his nose into the kitchen. He found his son standing by the microwave.

"What's for dinner?"

"I'm warming up some of Rosa's pasta from last night. Looks like you're on Mom's shit list…and before you say it, I know I'm not supposed to say 'shit', but it's appropriate," Seth muttered, motioning to the couch where Sandy's pillow and blanket were balled up.

"Damn. Where's Ryan?"

"Still out front, according to Mom," Seth said.

"Have you talked to him?"

"He grunted at me when I asked him if he wanted me to make him something."

"That's it?"

"Well, he threw a tool of some kind when I got too close," Seth added.

"Ouch."

"Oh no, he didn't hit me. His aim's awful this time of day," Seth shrugged.

"I'll give it a try," Sandy said, walking toward the door.

Ryan was sliding from beneath the car when Sandy stepped out. He had a light powered by an extension cord in his hand and he was filthy.

"Hey, kid."

"Sandy. Can you hold this?" Ryan held out the light and Sandy took it from him gingerly to avoid the grease. Ryan pushed himself to his feet and began to pick up the gathered tools.

"How'd you learn so much about cars?" Sandy asked.

"Trey."

"Really? Your brother taught you?"

Ryan glanced at him with a shrug.

"Ryan…"

"My brother taught me a lot of things. How to drive, how to ride a bike, how to tie my shoes. Stealing a car wasn't his first lesson."

"Oh. I…"

"Your car is officially tuned. I'll see you tomorrow," Ryan stated flatly, having refilled the toolbox and set it to the side.

"Wait, aren't you going to eat something?"

"Well, contrary to what you and Seth may have thought, I did have things to do today. Now, I have things to do tonight." Ryan softened his tone and patted Sandy on the back. "Don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sandy watched Ryan walk around the edge of the house before going through the front door.

"Ooh, Ryan got you," Seth said immediately.

"What?"

"Your back. There's a big handprint on your back."

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Kirsten's anger faded overnight and the next morning, she was at least answering Sandy's questions with one word answers. Seth informed them that he needed a ride to school because Ryan had left before breakfast to go to the library.

"I think the kid's pretty mad at us," Sandy said to Seth while they were all getting coffee.

"I don't know. I think he's worried about that paper he has due in Dr. Jenkins' class today."

"What? He had a paper due and you…"

"Stop, Mom," Seth raised his hands in surrender. "I have already apologized to Ryan for taking advantage of his manly knowledge…"

"Did you apologize for putting those fake wires out there?" Kirsten asked. Seth dropped his coffee cup. Rosa scurried in to clean up, chattering in Spanish and swatting at him.

"Kirsten…" Sandy started.

"He figured it out after he'd taken the engine apart," She said, turning to face them. "And I have never been more disappointed in you two." She walked out of the kitchen.

"Here we go again. I think it's going to take more than some apologizing to fix this," Sandy said. "You ready for school?"

"Yeah," Seth picked up his backpack and followed his father to the car.

Sandy got in and the car started on the first try.

"Sounds good," Sandy nodded.

"Ryan is a mechanical genius. I'll be sure and grovel that to him when I see him."

"Maybe I'll bring you guys some lunch. A peace offering," Sandy said.

"Dad, parents showing up at school? Not exactly going to help our popularity," Seth muttered.

"Do you hear that?" Sandy asked. Something was rattling loudly.

"Yeah…what do you think that is?" Seth asked, listening closely.

"You're asking me?"

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

"I'm going to take it to the shop today, just in case," Sandy said.

"You think Ryan broke it?"

"I doubt it. He really seemed to know what he was doing," Sandy replied.

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The rattling didn't get any worse and the car was driving okay so Sandy didn't take it to the shop after dropping Seth off. There was no rattle when the car was stopped but as soon as it was moving, it was incessant.

He was only about five minutes from his office when he heard a different sound. Chirping. Something in his car was chirping.

He wouldn't panic, it was surely nothing. He waited until he parked the car to investigate. Every few moments there would be a chirping sound.

He saw something crawling across his backseat and reached out to swat it but it hopped away.

There was a cricket in his car. Dammit. He was going to kill Kirsten.

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Kirsten got off work early and arrived home shortly after four. Sandy's car was parked in the driveway with all the doors open. He was vacuuming out the seats and was oblivious to Rosa's angry chattering from the door.

"Rosa?"

"He is trying to suck up crickets…he's lost his mind, why would there be crickets in his car?" Rosa said in English before throwing her hands up and walking back into the house.

Kirsten smiled and followed the housekeeper back into the house.

"Mr. Cohen has gone _loco_. He insists that there are bugs in his car and he's had the vacuum out there for over an hour and I need to finish…" Rosa started.

Kirsten laughed and patted Rosa on the back. "Don't worry about vacuuming, Rosa, I'll take care of it."

Rosa narrowed her eyes as she regarded Kirsten. "You know about the crickets?"

"You can get twenty for two dollars at the pet store. He'll never find them all," She whispered.

Rosa smiled. "Ah." Her gaze hardened after a beat. "If the vacuum starts to chirp, I might not find it as funny."

"It's worth it to see his face," Kirsten laughed.

Rosa nodded. "True."

"Are the boys home?"

"Seth is out with his little girlfriend. Ryan is sleeping, I think. In his room."

"Thanks." She walked outside toward the poolhouse and laughed to herself as she heard the vacuum running. She knocked on the door and when there was no answer, she stepped inside.

"Ryan?"

He was asleep on the bed with a book spread open across his chest. She turned to leave, but he woke up.

"Hey, Kirsten…"

"Hey. Have you eaten today?"

"I had lunch," He yawned. "What's up?"

"Just checking on you."

"Did you see Sandy in the driveway?" Ryan asked with a lazy smile.

"Yeah. Something about crickets?"

Ryan chuckled. "I thought Rosa was going to smack him when he told her that he had bugs in his car."

"One of my friends in college did that to an ex-boyfriend, he finally had to buy a new car. They multiply."

Ryan laughed. "It was a much better idea than mine…"

"What'd you do?"

"I'm not telling," Ryan smirked.

"Oh, come on…please?"

"Nope." Ryan got to his feet and tossed his book aside.

"Ryan, I really am sorry about yesterday," Kirsten said.

"It's not your fault. And it's all in fun, right? Remember when Seth found out I could play cards? It was three days before he stopped following me. It's no big deal," Ryan smiled.

"But…what did you do to the car?" Kirsten asked, following him out onto the patio.

"I fixed it. Really," Ryan smiled.

It was a month before the mechanics at the dealership found the rock that Ryan had placed in Sandy's hubcap.

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End file.
